A Mr. Darcy personifed
I refuse to settle for anything less than Mr. Darcy
(aka – you men need to step up your game. I’m not asking for the world, only that you act like you belong in the one of which I inhabit.)
In response to a recent article on Review Romance, a not-so-subtle ‘boy’ claims that women, the world over, for the past 200 years, are ‘nuts’ because we love Fitzwilliam Darcy, the hero from Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice.
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a woman in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of husband!”
A mini-essay of sorts, because I feel you are in dire need of an education, sir.
- “You expect me to account for opinions which you choose to call mine, but which I have never acknowledged.”
No, I’m not crazy and Mr. Darcy doesn’t belong in the pages of Playgirl. He’s better than that.
How do I love Fitzwilliam? Let me count the ways…
A post-modern moment.
- “In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”
Darcy’s exceedingly intelligent.
Don’t think for a moment, that you having the intelligence of peanut is attractive to me.
You better be as intelligent as I am, or better. If I can’t talk to you about what really bugs me, like the hypocritical relations of world politics, what’s in season for ‘the ton,’ or Monet versus Manet – then I’m just going to be coming home to a body. Who needs a body when a rabbit is available? Thanks, but no thanks. I have substance and I’d prefer my man of choice to have some too.
I want to talk with you, not to you.
The early dawn Mr. Darcy
- “He is tolerable; but not handsome enough to tempt me.”
Obviously, this is subjective.
But do not ever imagine that Darcy, had he lived in the 21st century, would walk around in crumpled clothing, looking like he just got out of bed, threw on a backwards cap (which hides some greasy hair), sliding his badly-kept toes into some beat up reefs, and shower himself in cologne expecting me to swoon.
Part of Darcy’s appeal, isn’t that he is filthy-rich and wearing exclusive clothing, but that he is clean – clean cut, well-kept, combed hair, brushed teeth. This is what I like to call basic hygiene and some.
Take a shower and iron you shirt.
The moment of Mr. Darcy moments...the pond. This is the reason women love Regency and swoon.
- “Nothing is more deceitful,” said Darcy, “than the appearance of humility. It is often only carelessness of opinion, and sometimes an indirect boast.”
Have you ever met those people who are just loaded with money, but have no style and no grace? But then you met, just an everyday boy or girl, who oozes class, comfort and humility? Were you attracted to the latter, rather than the former, just because it was easier to relate to them? If you were, then that is Darcy.
He is not sexy and gorgeous because of his wealth (though, I suppose family genetics can or cannot be helped), he is gorgeous and sexy because of what he represents: he’s not trying to be something that he’s not. He’s happy with himself, though recognizes the spots for improvements (as seen in the latter half of Pride & Prejudice), and that is reflected in how he behaves.
Be confident. I’m not going to like you because of who you know, I’m going to like you because of what you know.
At first glance.
- “No,” said Darcy, “I have made no such pretension. I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding. My temper I dare not vouch for. It is, I believe, too little yielding— certainly too little for the convenience of the world. I cannot forget the follies and vices of others so soon as I ought, nor their offenses against myself. My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. My good opinion once lost, is lost forever.”
“That is a failing indeed!” cried Elizabeth. “Implacable resentment is a shade in a character. But you have chosen your fault well. I really cannot laugh at it. You are safe from me.”
“There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil— a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome.”
“And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody.”
“And yours,” he replied with a smile, “is willfully to misunderstand them.”
So I know, for some absurd reason, men think that Darcy is a ‘prick,’ and that women prefer their men to be ‘bad.’ But if the men, who undoubtedly misjudged and follow this concept, would take a step off of their soap boxes and listen they would understand that nothing could be father than the truth.
Darcy is as popular as he is, because he is none of that: he is perfect; he is flawed; he is human.
Have you ever heard that, people who have the most to say, say nothing at all? Darcy isn’t like that. He is quiet, reserved and says what needs to be said in public. Often, looked upon as stoic, the anti-hero-who-is-not, can be Byronic, and snarky – everyone has their own outer defenses.
If you have something to say – say it. If you have nothing to say – keep your mouth shut.
Think before you talk.
Another view of that post-modern moment.
- “My object then,” replied Darcy, “was to show you, by every civility in my power, that I was not so mean as to resent the past; and I hoped to obtain your forgiveness, to lessen your ill opinion, by letting you see that your reproofs had been attended to. How soon any other wishes introduced themselves I can hardly tell, but I believe in about half an hour after I had seen you.”
Allow me to educate you on something: Darcy was brought up in the world of the utmost British elite, given the highest of principles but nothing to govern them with and left to his own devices. He fiercely watches out for his best friend, Charles Bingley (even when it hurts Charles) and is one of the only father-figures in the life of his 15-year old sister, Georgiana. He wants to be good for her, to her, with her. He protects her, spoils her and he governs what he does to provide for her, before himself. I don’t know about you, but to me, that sounds like a pretty fantastic older brother.
Fitzwilliam Darcy
I daresay, sir, you have grossly misunderstood.
If I have to fix you, why would I want to be with you?
To mold you into a puppet? No thanks, I have my Ken dolls from when I was five, I don’t need another one. And now that Mattel has come out with Spock and Edward Cullen Ken, remind me why I’m explaining this to you again?
If it looks like a pig, walks like a pig, snorts like a pig and eats like a pig – well, then it’s probably a pig. While, some of my sex may call it a cow, and try to turn it into a chicken, to most of us…it’s still a pig.
Don’t insult my intelligence, but ASSuming I don’t know any better. Such action, of the Neanderthal kind, is precisely the reason I don’t date the likes of you. I’m not being difficult or delusional. I’m a girl who simply respects herself, and thinks she deserves a little bit more than the likes of the least showered, slobbish, ‘pricks’ out there.
- “There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.”
I refuse to settle for anything less than Mr. Darcy.
The Darcy "look"
The place confusion ends, the unabridged truth, what you should know about the man we love, but won’t take time to learn.
Sincerely,
Me xx.
The ‘pond’ scene everyone talks about via the BBC --
The ‘post-modern’ scene, 12 years later --
P.S.,
If you want to ‘preview’ (aka the entire film streaming online) some Regency/Austen/Bronte/Gaskell films on YouTube, go here. Should you choose to indulge in some Mr. Darcy goodness, here you go:
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Sasha Muradali runs the ‘Little Pink Book’ . She holds a B.S. in Public Relations from the University of Florida and an M.A. in International Administration from the University of Miami. She loves Twitter and all things social media, so you should find her @SashaHalima.
Copyright © 2009 Sasha H. Muradali. All Rights Reserved.
