“Super-celebrities don’t belong in the jungle. They belong in Hollywood with the paparazzi” – Spencer Pratt
In a country that was obsessed when Ashton Kutcher was the first to hit one million followers on Twitter, it’s really not a surprise that Spencer and Heidi Pratt are the most loved to hate couple in celebland.
Spencer Pratt is an evil, entertaining genius who probably needs to be isolated from the rest of the population and voted off the island somewhere with his ‘dumb blonde’ wifey.
Michael K. calls them Twit and Twat, Perez Hilton can’t stop talking about Heidi’s never-gonna-happen-honey music career and I can actually get why they’re a trending topic on Twitter: it’s the headlines baby! Let’s not forget these are the same people who whined and moaned their way into the White House Correspondent’s Gala last year.
I will tell you this though, Spencer, for however much of a Pratt he may be or seem to be, is one heck of a smart marketer. Having no license on his mouth and admitting to choosing the Red Cross as his charity of choice for I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, because if he leaves they’ll still have more than enough money to survive on, is a pretty dumb thing to say, but a pretty smart way to get people talking about you.
I think Lady GaGa sang about this mental condition…
From the fake photo shoots, to John McCain, to the music that bleeds your ears, to the Speidi wedding on the season finale of The Hills – let’s face it, for most of the other words you may choose to describe him as, ‘idiot’ really shouldn’t be one of them.
- 1. So you know The Hills, Laguna Beach and all the other jazz is scripted.
But that doesn’t stop you from watching does it? Let’s face it, our society loves to hate on the drama.
- 2. Admit it – while you hate Spencer Pratt’s fleshy-toned beard…
…you loved talking about hating it even more.
- 3. Speidi got married. No they didn’t. Yes they did. No they didn’t. YES THEY DID!
Whether you bought it or not, admit to yourself, so no one else can hear that, yes, you read all about the wedding that didn’t happen leading up to the one that did.
- 4. No secret Heidi Montag-Pratt can’t sing a note: even if it jumped out in front of her, she swallowed it whole and it tried to throw up the rights notes.
But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that, her videos are getting hits on YouTube, her music is being streamed in the Blogsphere and Spencer Pratt is laughing to himself on how he’s such a bloody brilliant, conniving SOB who actually got them free press for utter garbage.
- 5. Spencer’s admitted he’s a fraud –
– but you knew that already, so could it be, his poor acting and champagne-infested, right-winged life is just so out there, you are glued? Probably.
- 6. Let’s not forget the fake photo shoots.
There are dozens. You’d think that because you know they are fake and they look THAT fake that the tabloids wouldn’t need to purchase the photo ops, right? WRONG! TMZ and alike purchases the Twit and Twat art because it sells.
- 7. Speidi is entertaining.
They know they are and they know they are for the wrong reasons, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that we’re so entertained, we keep talking about it (a perfect example being this post *cough*free*publicity*) and that’s what the Speidi wants: you to know them.
- 8. Admit it, Heidi loves Jesus, you love Jesus and therefore y’all love Jesus together.
Half the battle of recovery is just admitting that one of the reasons you love to hate them so much is because of the Big J. The sooner you do that, the sooner, Speidi will flutter off into non-existence.
- 9. Like Bennifer and Brangelina before them: Heidi + Spencer = Speidi.
If society really didn’t care, and hated them that much, there would be no nicknames. Enough said.
Copyright © 2009 Sasha H. Muradali. All Rights Reserved.
