Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life [GIVEAWAY]

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That’s right.

It’s the latest book by Marina Sbrochi and you can win a copy!

Little Pink Blog is giving away five (5) copies.

HOW TO ENTER

All you have to do to win is write in the comments your reaction to one of two things, or both:

  1. Marina’s interview questions OR
  2. The excerpt from the book

both featured below:

  • Contest starts February 1, 2012 at 10:30 a.m. EST
  • Contest ends February 14, 2012 at midnight EST

That’s it.

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Happy Valentine’s Day

from us,

to you,

our pink lovelies!

🙂

Interview with Marina:

  • 1) What inspired you to write the book?
      • After my divorce, I was reflecting on my part in the relationship and talking with other women going through divorce, I realized that many women are marrying for the wrong reasons.
  • 2) If there is one thing you wish that young women who read the book will take away from it, what is that?
      • I want women to be confident in themselves and not feel like they need a husband to be complete.
      • I want women to understand that you should not get married unless he is the love of your life.
      • There are no guarantees in life, however, beginning a marriage for the right reasons puts you miles ahead!

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  • 3) What do you say to young women who have this idealized version of a guy in their heads (Mr. Darcy, Prince Charming, Edward Cullen etc.), versus the real men that exist?
      • You can fantasize about this fabulous man all you want (trust me, I was reading Twilight when I met the love of my life and there were times when I was thinking for a half of a second, wow, it would really be cool if he was a vampire.)But you have to come back down to real life.
      • Think about yourself.
      • Are you princess supermodel?  Would you want someone to hold you to ridiculously high and false standards?  Or you do you want to be loved for you?
      • If you want drama, watch TV.
      • If you want real life, you have to live in it.
  • 4) What is your one wish for young women, and women in general, in terms of loving themselves?
      • I wish we weren’t so hard on ourselves.I wish we didn’t care so much what other people thought.  Because, the secret is…you shouldn’t care what other people think.
      • Be proud of who you are.  Live your life being kind to others and love yourself.If you do all of those things…you are living for yourself, not anyone else.
      • You will find this newfound freedom when you release the power of other peoples thoughts.
      • As Dr. Seuss once said :

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

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  • 5) What inspires you to keep moving forward with your life when it throws your hurdles?
      • I see the glass as eternally half full. I believe in my heart that things will always get better.
      • When life throws me a curve ball — I accept it and say okay — this is where I am, what is the next right step in a forward direction that I need to take.
      • I don’t look behind, I take that first step forward.

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  • 6) What about bad emotionally painful breakups. When women go through them, sometimes they can feel ‘broken’ or abandoned.
    • Many will often say they feel despair or they feel incredible hurt.
    • In your book you talk about women loving themselves and putting themselves first, what do you say to those women who want to move forward, they want to move on, but they feel stuck in a vicious cycle of emotional pain?

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      • When women are hurt and stuck in a cycle of pain from a relationship,  they have to pick themselves up.
      • Think of it this way…do you want to give power to someone that hurt you?
      • They have moved on.  Now it is your turn.  Sure, you can take some time to feel hurt, but don’t wallow in it.
      • You are better than that.
      • Picture your life 10-years down the road.You can still be sad and talking about your ex and putting out this negative vibe OR you can accept what happened.
      • See the lesson in it and move forward to the wonderful life you deserve.  The past is the past.
      • You have a beautiful future waiting for you — but only if you release the past and go get it!

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  • 7) How do you suggest these women get out of that hurt or the ones who are looking for a husband — restructure their thinking and channel those feelings elsewhere?
      • You have to make a conscious choice every morning to do something positive for yourself.
      • Every time I thought of your ex comes up — you have to mentally tell yourself that this is the past.
      • Also know that you will never meet someone when you are stuck in a past relationship and negative.  Nobody wants to skip around a black hole.
      • Think about yourself.  Your goals, your aspirations and go get them!
      • Life is for the living — don’t let it pass you by!

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  • 8.) What piece of information/knowledge of self-awareness and/or relationships do you have now, that you wish you had when you were younger?
      • I wish I knew to not sweat the small stuff when I was younger.
      • Little disappointments and breakups aren’t real tragedies.  My health, my family, my friends and my every day enjoyment are what’s important.
      • If you are hyper focused on some destination you have in your mind — but enjoy the journey along the way — you are missing the best part of life!
  • 9) What’s your favourite book to read?
      • My favorite book is Something More – Excavating  Your Authentic Self by Sarah Ban Breathnach.
      • A must read for every woman.

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  • 10) What’s the best piece of advice someone ever gave you?
      • The best piece of advice I have ever received was to follow the serenity prayer.
      • You can omit the God part if you aren’t religious and it still carries the same message.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.

Get the book, here.

~*~

Excerpt from the book:

Chapter One: You Rock!

 

Fed up with the “rules” and “how-to’s” of landing your dream guy? Seven Foolproof Ways to Meet Your Mate? How to Get The Man of Your Dreams? If it sounds like a crock, that’s because it is. The truth is, there is no foolproof method. Why? Because—surprise!—everyone is different. Some people think of an ideal first date as dinner and a movie. Others would rather go sky-diving.

So, what is one to do in this confusing world of strangers and fix-ups where no two are alike? Breathe easy, girls, because the single most important thing you can do is also the most effortless: Be yourself. It’s the only way you’ll find your perfect mate.

Here’s the sad-but-true tale of someone who chose to disregard this ever-important rule. Don’t let it happen to you.

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The Seafaring Storyteller

A friend of mine meets a guy with an unstoppable passion for sailing. She goes absolutely gaga for this guy—and they’re off to a great start. When he asks if she shares his love for wind and water, she replies with a very enthusiastic,

“Yes! I love sailing!”

Two weeks later they’re in Miami for a jaunt on his 30-foot Catalina. Just as they push off from the dock, the terror sets in.

My friend is deathly afraid of water. Of course, she’s never been sailing. She’s freaking out! Sailor Jerry turns the boat around and buys her a seat on the next flight home, figuring that if she can’t tell him the truth about something as basic as a hobby, they certainly can’t have a meaningful and truthful relationship.

Had aforementioned girlfriend consulted me, I would have advised her to say,

“I want to be honest with you. Water scares me, but it’s only because I had a bad experience as a child. But if you help me, I’d love to try to get over my fear.”

The sailor would have gently eased her through fears and they would be tooling around the Caribbean sipping pina coladas right now.

 

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Stop the Chaos

How do you stop this pattern? First, you have to stop lying to yourself. You convince yourself that you love camping, when in reality, your definition of “roughing it” is staying at the Holiday Inn instead of the Ritz.

You gladly tell the hot new guy from Spain that you know Spanish.  Truth be told, the only Spanish you know is,

“Si, Ortega!”

“I love the country!”

Says the city mouse that gets asthma from looking at horses.

We lie because we want people to like us. Why would a guy like you if you don’t share the same interests, right? Wrong! Don’t be embarrassed by what you like—embrace it! Be yourself! Besides, one of the biggest thrills of dating is introducing your mate to your favorite places, foods, and life pursuits. You cannot build a meaningful relationship on a lie.

 

It’s Just That Easy

Another bonus tip on being yourself: You know you the best. You’ll never have to come up with a story about what you like and what you don’t like. You won’t have to look up your morals and beliefs, because you know them. Besides, like my mother always said, it’s much easier to remember the truth than it is to remember a lie.

 

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Don’t Febreeze Dirty Laundry

Prior to even thinking about your outside look, you have to take an honest look at what you’re wearing inside. We all have little quirks, past relationships, and everyday problems. Those are part of life. But if you’re not in a mentally stable place, then stop right here and figure it out. You must take care of unresolved issues before you involve anyone else.  Don’t think you can pretend you don’t have an eating disorder when in reality the only food you eat is lettuce.  He will notice.  So will your health.

 

Love Thyself. And Count The Ways.

Take some time to think about all of your positive attributes (if this takes all day, good for you!). Write them down and don’t be shy. Sometimes we truly forget how wonderful we are and we need a written list to remind ourselves. I like to tape this list to my bathroom mirror, but you can put it anywhere. Carry it in your pocket or in your purse, and reread it as much as necessary. When I say positive attributes, I mean both physical and non-physical. You’re awesome and you know it, so don’t skimp. Do you love yourself? Really, do you? You have to. Because if you don’t no one else will.

 

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Pick Me! Pick Me!

Too often we find ourselves haunted by the pressure of dating, like self-conscious middle-schoolers anxious that nobody will pick us to play on the team. We run around like crazed teenagers, trying too hard to make ourselves desirable, trying to be someone we’re not. Listen closely—this never works. Treat this advice like the gospel: the most important thing you can do is be yourself.

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Confidence: The Secret Aphrodisiac

I know a beautiful girl with a wonderful career and a great figure. She’s smart. She’s sassy. She’s a hell of a good dancer. But she has the confidence of a 400-pound person with Coke bottle glasses and acne. She constantly tells me,

“I’m not pretty,” “I don’t look good in this,” “I’m not funny,” “I can’t talk in a group.”

Jeez Louise! Slit my wrists why don’t you? After saying “Oh, yes you are” about a hundred times, I’m worn out! Not to mention that my reassurance is wasted: even after I tell her wonderful she is, she still shoots herself down.

If you think a guy wants to battle your negativity all the time, you are thoroughly disillusioned. No one wants to skip around a black hole. Besides, if you keep telling him what a sorry person you are, he might just believe you—and skedaddle. Hello friend—if you’re still in there—come out! It’s positively nice out here if you believe me and believe in yourself!

On another note, one of the most attractive guys that I know is not someone who would cause most girls would spin around for a double-take. But once he opens his mouth, you can’t help falling in love. What is this mysterious, fun and comforting quality that he exudes? Confidence. This guy is smart and cool and fun, and he knows it. He is genuinely interested in others. He engages people in conversation. Confidence radiates from his every word and movement.

You have to believe in yourself. Remember all of those great qualities you listed?  You have to respect yourself, and you have to be sure of yourself.  This is one time where I allow you to fake it until you make it.  You aren’t pretending, you are just practicing being confident before maybe your mind is ready to really know it.  By doing this, first and foremost, you’re doing yourself a favor. You’re the biggest fan of you! So don’t shortchange yourself. You’re number one—believe it and know it. There is nothing more unattractive than a woman who doesn’t believe in herself.

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I Said Confidence, Not Cockiness

Please don’t confuse the two. There is a sizeable difference between them, and if you cross the invisible line, there is no hope your love life. Confidence is the state of thinking positively of oneself and one’s actions.
Cockiness is overconfidence clothed in rudeness—it’s almost as unattractive as having zero confidence.

You know cocky when you see it and hear it. It’s a surefire man repellent. So don’t be cocky. It will alienate you and get you uninvited to parties as quickly as the piggy flu.

~*~

Win one of five copies of Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life

HOW TO ENTER

All you have to do to win is write in the comments your reaction to one of two things, or both:

  1. Marina’s interview questions OR
  2. The excerpt from the book

both featured below:

  • Contest starts February 1, 2012 at 10:30 a.m. EST
  • Contest ends February 14, 2012 at midnight EST

Get the book, here.

_

Sasha H. Muradali owns the Little Pink Blog and Little Pink Book PR, LLC. Sasha holds a MA International Administration with a concentration in Intercultural Communication from the University of Miami (’08) and a BS Public Relations and Dance from the University of Florida (’07). She has been featured in Forbes, CNN and Business Week. Sasha tweets fervidly (@SashaHalima), loves Harry Potter and the colour pink. Get a copy of the Little Pink Blog delivered to your Kindle and ‘LIKE’ us on Facebook.

Little Pink Blog & Little Pink Book PR are federally registered trademarks of Little Pink Book PR, LLC. © 2009-2012 Little Pink Blog & Little Pink Book PR. All Rights Reserved.

Comments

  1. i love how she said that she wished women weren’t so hard on themselves. this is true for me and many other things she said. great interview btw!

  2. It is so true that you have to be a happy & complete person yourself before meeting someone. Great post & advice!

  3. Great interview! I especially loved the responses to questions 6 & 7…there IS a beautiful future ahead! I LOVE the serenity prayer and would definitely keep the God in it 🙂 He helps me cope with everything in life!

  4. Rmsteinman says

    all very true comments.  Sometimes when you are in the thick of dating or right after a break up you can feel horrible.  These are great words to live by

  5. While she takes the time to elaborate on different scenarios and helps combat the social issues and pressures that women face, I really feel that the core of her message is “to thine own self be true.”  Something that like it or not both men and women face – we are all to willing to compromise ourselves for a possibility at something that may or may not provide us with happiness and gratification.