Monday May 3, 2010 marked another evening for the fashionista and the wannabes at the Metropolitan Museum’s “American Woman: Fashioning a National Identity.”
Some hit it, some missed it…sorely and others just didn’t mesh.
Totally one of those events where I say screw the Oscars because this is far more amusing!
Jessica Szohr in Versace is wearing another person wearing something too close to her skin color.Â It also looks like two completely different dresses put together.
Amy Fine Collins look like someone took some lampshades, scissors and some glue to put her dress together.
This would be a no, no.
Another outfit that looks like a bad gift wrapping job. Was this some trend I was unaware of?
Also, what’s up with Gwen Stefani’s eyebrows? Not cool. It’s a shame because she’s gorgeous.
Outfit is L.A.M.B
Chole Sevigny in Proenza Schouler is a mess. Too much, too sheer, no shape and her makeup makes her look corpse-like.
I don’t understand what is it about women trying to dress in drapery. I mean just because it worked for Scarlett O’Hara, doesn’t mean it’ll work for you.
Kerry Washington in a funky, red, Thakoon for Gap, Greek inspired drape. It’ll probably look nicer on my windows.
Jessica Biel in Ralph Lauren looks like her dress not only doesn’t fit her properly on the top, but like she just got out of bed…and not in that sexy “ooh ah” way.
I have no words, except a big fat NO Lisa Marie Falcone.
Silver Bubble Wrap? Maybe duct tape?
Mary J. Blige in J Mendel is a Golden Girl peach smoothie gone wrong.
Karolina Kurkova is gorgeous, but even her unearthly beauty cannot save this outfit. It’s like Gladiator’s breast plate met up with Little Bo Peep and tried to be sleek and sexy, but then borrowed mustard shoes from Big Bird.
Gisele Bundchen in Alexander Wang looking like a dominatrix flapper gone astray.
Look it’s Katy Perry, the glow worm.
Oh, Oprah, your Oscar Le La Renta — this is such a big NO. No, big navy blue ruffled puff cake.
Nicole Richie always has this classic style and typically wears things to fit her body — post 180-she’s-skinny. This outfit just doesn’t do it for me. It’s not romantic and looks like a disco ball mated with old Hollywood. Most of all, the way the material photographs just makes it look cheap.
Definitely not my favourite Marc Jacobs.
While I love pink and this pink in particular is simply a stunning colour, I loathe it looking like a wrinkled present wrapping Rachel Weisz in bad, ill fitting, gift paper by Oscar De La Renta. I also think that this dress could look amazing if photographed from another angle, but then again, you should look amazing from every angle when you wear something fabulous to an event like the Met Gala.
Therefore, Rach, sorry, I heart you, I heart pink, but no.
Riley Keough in Thakoon for Gap is just…a mess. Someone find her a hair stylist.
Left over velour from Carol Brady’s closet in this Mrs. Roper-chic oddity is Erin Fetherston.
Thandie Newton’s dress look like someone couldn’t decide what material they wanted to use so they decided to use all of them. From the purple (what appears to be) silk, to the mesh-like overlays on top of it, to the random bits of golden lining, to the black underskirt to the blood wine underskirt under the underskirt — NO.
And why are the ends of her hair so stringy? Another NO.
Jessica Alba in Sophie Theallet for Gap.Â While she looks great, the colour of the dress is too close to her skin tone and the cut on the top doesn’t sit right. If this were in another colour and a different cut, it’s be gorgeous. Alas, it is not and therefore, alas, it cannot.
Emma Roberts in Marni — not age appropriate, makes her look 35, with alien eye makeup — and there is no shape, she should have some after all. I know boobies and a waist exist in there somewhere.
Abbie Cornish in Louis Vuitton — too many ruffles and reminds me of Scarlett O’Hara’s drapes. The ruching cannot decide which direction it wants to go in: up, down, side ways or diagonal. It makes the dress look all over the place.
Rosario Dawson looks like a bad baked cake, with some wedding ruffles in bad frosting modeled after a toilet roll cover someone grandmamma has hidden away somewhere. WTF.
Dress is Giambattista Valli.
K-Can’t Act needs to find a new face…and a new stylist. This whole, “I’m so cool, I’m over it, I never need to smile” thing has got to go because post sparkly vamps she’s spiraling down the bad acting hole. I mean the least she could do is find a pretty dress. No such luck — and this is Chanel? You’ve got to be kidding me.
No, it’s not sexy. Sexy is Emma Watson’s slit. Kriten Stewart’s see-through-if-you-watch-me-sit-you-can-see-everything little number is just tacky.
Well, I hope she’s wore good underwear.
M.I.A. looks like a locksmith and a jewelry welder got into a fight and this was the end product. Goodness.
I normally love Christina Hendricks, but something about this ensemble just looks off. She looks like a blue tent with some ruffle, feather flower pops on her shoulder. I don’t quite get it. While, the colour is stunning on her and her makeup is gorgeous as always…the dress itself — I’ll pass.
The Greek goddess ensemble is by L’Wren Scott.
How pretty is Zoe Saldana in Classic by Calvin Klein! It’s sleek, black, sophisticated and very sexy.
Emma Watson is a sassy siren in Burberry. Love it, high front-and-center slit and all!
Another Burberry set of awesomeness.
It’s a bit modern gothic to me, but Claire Danes did well. What could have gone the other way, really looks great — especially paired with her makeup and very good hair! Also, the necklace is very Underworld, it’s so pretty!
Mila Kunis always dresses very well. This is no exception. Haute Couture at its finest courtesy of Vera Wang. This is probably my second favourite look of the evening.
Mrs. David Bowie, Iman, looking as gorgeous as always in a throw-back, black silk ensemble by Prada.
Naomi Watts joined the silky trend in this wine number from Lanvin.
I’m not always a fan of print on the red carpet but Rachel Bilson pulled it off nicely wearing Louis Vuitton.
Looksy! It’s Ga-linda! With a “Ga!” Wicked the Musical has come to life — or Cinderella … hehehe, not really, it’s actually Doutzen Kroes in Zac Posen.
Pretty, pretty blue princess (though I could do without the “look at me, I’m hot” sexy face she’s flaunting.)
Anna Wintour in Chanel. I like the individual pieces on their own. Not sure if they go together well, and in my opinion they don’t, but otherwise, it’s pretty awesome.
Melissa George in J Mendel — gorgeous. I love the material and the way it falls on her. I think this would be delightful to have seen up close and in person.
Sarah Jessica Parker looking like a fantastic set of awesomesauce in Halston Heritage (finally!). I’m lovin’ it!
Jennifer Lopez … hate the dress on her as it just doesn’t seem “Jennifer.” Together with her makeup and hair the dress is pretty gorgeous. The close-up pictures really capture the detail. I love it.
Pretty, pretty princess Taylor Swift in Ralph Lauren. She looks a little bridal though; bridal siren.
Marion Cotillard in Dior is stunning. It’s one of those flesh-toned to solid-bright material outfits that works. Not to mention, it fits the occasion nicely with the ballgown skirt.
Anne Hathaway has to have my FAVOURITE outfit of the evening. It’s beyond gorgeous and is by Valentino.
*Images via Gawker and Getty*
Sasha Muradali runs the â€˜Little Pink Bookâ€™ . She holds a B.S. in Public Relations from the University of Florida with a minor in Dance (â€™07) and an M.A. in International Administration from the University of Miami (â€™08). She loves Twitter and all things social media, so you should find her @SashaHalima or get a copy of the â€˜Little Pink Bookâ€™ delivered to your Kindle and donâ€™t forget to check out the Mad Women.