To Tweet or Not to Tweet…At YOUR Wedding

Yesterday, I came across this post on Mashable by Jennifer Van Grove called “Just Married: Groom Changes Facebook Relationship Status At Altar.” The article was about a groom who changed his relationship status on Facebook, during his wedding, before he kissed his bride.

In the comments area of the post, opinions seemed to differ. I had no idea some people were so passionate (or passionate and immature, depending on your take) about the subject.

Personally, I do not agree with doing this. Perhaps, it’s because I’m more traditional  in that sense. But originally, I felt like it was disrespectful to the church, the priest, the bride and the wedding guests.

Now let’s get one thing straight, I do not dislike these people and I am not attacking them. I don’t know them. I’m simply saying I disagree with what went down. (The groom looks like a pretty cool guy, his Twitter page shows that’s he’s into Star Wars 🙂 )

Quite a few people felt the need to respond to my comment. One person clarified that the wife (as you’ll see in the video) took the phone and updated her status as well. Another person clarified that the groom has said that the priest and him were the only two people ‘in’ on the stunt.

So that throws my argument out of the water, it can’t be disrespectful to people who obviously approve of it. Right?

One person in particular (@RobertBasil)felt the need to attack and insult me countless times, by responding to other ‘threads’ of people speaking to me.  Even when I told him that I would agree to disagree, he prodded on and apparently doesn’t quite grasp the meaning of “pot calling the kettle black.” But that’s another story…

Click to Enlarge, Magnify on Picasa to Read the Comments.

Click to Enlarge, Magnify on Picasa to Read the Comments.

Also, you can see the groom’s tweet, here, if you want.

I think it’s completely fair that people have the right to go about their business and do what they want to do at their own weddings. Sarah Jessica Parker wore black. Would I do that? Most certainly not. But it’s her choice.

My main set of questions/concerns/thoughts are:-

But what about the church?

I was taught that churches and other places of worship are sacred spaces and thus I found the act disrespectful.

However, my opinion aside:-

  • Should social media be allowed to play a role in how people interact in these places?
  • Is this a big deal?
  • Is tweeting and updating your relationship status from your own wedding appropriate? A sign of the times? A nod to the future of our culture and societal norms?
  • Is it respectful or disrespectful?
  • Abnormal or the new normal?

You can see the original video below:-

In case you’re curious about me, I stopped responding to the people on Mashable apparently out to crucify me. Instead, I wrote this post in good humor. It also makes me rather sad because it shows how some people are narrowed minded and ignorant. I can agree to disagree on a beliefs/traditions system; I don’t see what’s so hard about it.

Oh well, to each their own 🙂

–

Sasha Muradali runs the ‘Little Pink Book’ . She holds a B.S. in Public Relations from the University of Florida (’07) and an M.A. in International Administration from the University of Miami(’08). She loves Twitter and all things social media, so you should find her @SashaHalima or get a copy of the ‘Little Pink Book’ delivered to your Kindle.

Copyright © 2009 Sasha H. Muradali. All Rights Reserved.

Comments

  1. allenkristina says:

    I suppose if the bride and the priest were in on it, then it wouldn't be disrespectful to the people who matter most in the scenario. That being said, it's definitely something new – potentially a sign of the times – but probably just a one-off. I can't imagine this trend catching on.

    The day that I walk down the aisle, I hope my Facebook status is the last thing on my mind! 😀

  2. I guess to each their own. I personally wouldn't do it, my grandmother would not get/appreciate the humor. I guess they were trying to prove how social media is affecting every aspect of peoples lives. But I would hope when I get married, the internet would be the last thing I would think about.

    Btw… I was reading the comments on Mashable and Robert was completely disrespectful. Kudos for your for handling him like a pro with lots of class!

  3. There is nothing more annoying to me than fake outrage, and this post is precisely that. It's their wedding, who really cares what they do?

  4. There is nothing more annoying to me than fake outrage, and this post is precisely that. It's their wedding, who really cares what they do?

  5. Hello Ryan,

    Thank you for commenting and hitting the nose on the head about the reason for my comments alongside the actual topic of my post.

    I don't have any “fake out rage,” thanks, and in case you didn't read the rest of the post, I asked the following questions:-

    But what about the church?

    I was taught that churches and other places of worship are sacred spaces. Therefore:-

    * Should social media be allowed to play a role in how people interact in these places?
    * Is this a big deal?
    * Is tweeting and updating your relationship status from your own wedding appropriate? A sign of the times? A nod to the future of our culture and societal norms?
    * Is it respectful or disrespectful?
    * Abnormal or the new normal?

    I also clearly stated:-

    “Now let’s get one thing straight, I do not dislike these people and I am not attacking them. I don’t know them. I’m simply saying I disagree with what went down. (The groom looks like a pretty cool guy, his Twitter page shows that’s he’s into Star Wars 🙂 )”

    So maybe next time, before you attack someone,you should read all the facts 🙂

    Happy a great Wednesday!
    Sasha

  6. Ashely, thanks for your comment.

    It's funny, if you click on Robert's “Disqus Profile” you'll see that he's 43-years old. That makes him 19 years older than me.

    I guess wisdom, or in this case grace, humility and maturity, do not come with age 🙂

    Me too, I would hope that at my wedding, the last thing I would be thinking about is Twitter!

  7. But what about the church? Would the church be as accepting as you were of Joanna Krupa covering her bare breasts with a cross? Nope, not even close, as you pointed out. If I was religious, which I am not, I think I would have more of a problem with Krupa than I would a clearly in love couple having a little fun at their wedding.

    Get real. You know exactly why you even posted a comment on Mashable in the first place. People actually read Mashable and would notice irritating comments and click your name so that you would receive hits to your little pink book or whatever this is.

    Happy a great Wednesday to you too

  8. Hi Kristina,

    You're right. If the Bride and the Priest are fine with it, then that's their business.

    It probably is a sign of the times, we are in an age of social media. But do you think there are limits on it?

    See, I think there are. But then again, it boils down to personal preferences. On that same note, I think as social media progresses and a lot of it's practices gets broken down into concrete formulas, like everything else (think when kids started carrying the mobile phone to school) rules will be implemented.

    I mean I'm not saying what these people did was wrong. It's their wedding and their can do what they want.

    But, like you, when I get married, I hope my relationship status on Facebook is the last thing I'll be worrying/thinking about! 🙂

  9. His age make his comment even more sad. Those are the people you ignore.

    Btw.. I meant “kudos to you for..”

  10. I can tell you didn't read the post. Please reread the comment again. Thank you! Hope your day is going well.

  11. Ryan,

    Wow, you are one angry man.

    First of all, I was accepting of the motivation behind Joanna Krupa's response to her recent PETA advertisement. And I felt inclined in my blog post to point out that the Catholic League, specifically, has a few misconceptions about the extremist organization known as PETA.

    Secondly, I'm a frequent commenter on Mashable and if you care to browse through my 450+ Disqus comments in my profile you'll see as such.

    As for your “hits” accusation, I actually just made a joke about that on Twitter 🙂 The funny thing is I don't need the 'haters' from the Mashable comments section to give me extra hits for my Little Pink Book. They are not my target audience. With or without them, I reach my target audience and some. So, no, you're rather wrong there.

    Well, Mr. Cane, I hope the rest of your day is filled with less malice.

    Drink a cup of tea, it always helps me when I'm angry 🙂

    Best wishes,
    Sasha

  12. Exactly, that's why I stopped responding to those people. lol The flames were getting out of hand. My goodness!

    You know I've never had an encounter like that on Mashable before and I comment on there every once in awhile. I read the site everyday.

    Thanks again 🙂

  13. I love how you compare apples and oranges. All you are doing is showing how inept you are.

    Sasha does not need more hits on Little Pink Book. She has loyal friends and fans.

    I would seriously look to see where your anger is really coming from and relax.

    Have a fabulous day!

  14. I will not be updating my Facebook or Twitter status as I am standing at the altar in February! 🙂

  15. Congrats on your upcoming wedding Linds!

  16. In a way, this actually isn't *that* much different than the “JK Wedding Entrance Dance” couple. You can't tell me that they weren't thinking about YouTube when they decided to pull that stunt!

  17. That's an excellent point Lindsay! Thanks for pointing that out, I
    completely forgot about them.

    Was that as they walked down the aisle or was it at their reception? I don't
    remember.

  18. Totally Dislike! (But it is his choice…I would just opt for better timing…)

  19. Hi Mel,

    Thanks for your comment. I don't mind people tweeting from weddings or taking pictures and posting it to their TwitPics. IMO, it was just in appropriate in terms of the timing. Just as you said.

  20. Geez, some people are just so angry… Why can't they realize that we're all entitled to our opinion and the internet allows us to share our opinion… Why can't they agree to disagree?

    Personally if Twitter & Facebook existed when I got married, I would still wait until AFTER the ceremony to update my status. Why? Coz I think tweeting/texting in the middle of the ceremony would be disrepectful to the rest of the guests who WERE THERE @ the ceremony (it's kind of like talking on cell phone/texting while you're on a date or having dinner with your family).

    But if this guy and his bride were sooooooo excited about their relationship status change that they HAD to announced to the world right there, right then, that's their choice, I'd respect that… (but I probably would still roll my eyes… :p)

    Sasha, a lot of people are trolling the Net and looking for comments to pick fights with because they need to get a life…. I used to get mad a lot @ those people and their comments, but now I realize it was really a huge waste of my time… Your time worth much more than that… 🙂

    Hope your week's been going well…

  21. Midtown Girl says:

    Wow – why all the drama? She was just asking a question – sheesh!!

    I personally would not do it and not sure how I would feel if my new husband did…if he was a huge facebook user than I get it, bc sometimes you get caught up in the moment (and weddings are huge, exciting moments).

    Either way, best wishes to the new couple 😉

    XOXO

  22. The THINGS you can ALWAYS count on – on the internet – are trolls.

    Personally – I think that's one instance of Twitter/Facebook's negative impact on society. When you can't go through your big day without whipping out your phone to get on the internet, you've become an addict.

    And it is rude to everyone who was there. It may be cute to people who are on the internet 24/7, but I bet that guy's mom and grandmother didn't get it. I bet they thought it was tacky. MMM tacky wedding days? If I was the bride I'd be peeved.

  23. I always thought that it was common courtesy to turn off or silence your cell phone/pda when you enter a place of worship, out of respect. I don't see why this is any different. While it does seem that the bride, groom and priest were cool with it, I'm sure there were guests that didn't get it and/or thought it was tacky. If I was getting married, I wouldn't want my guests to be diddling on their iPhones, and I would extend them the same courtesy. I get that it's supposed to be cute, but it really isn't. Just lame.

  24. Lisa Atufunwa says:

    I can understand if they planned it in advance. That's between them and the priest. However, I was always taught that even having your cell phone in church was disrespectful. That's just my opinion.

  25. Hi Amy,

    Thanks for your comment. I completely agree with you. I was talking to my cousin about it (as he stumbled across this blog post and texted me instantly), and I was thinking that, in my opinion, it's like the President updating his official Facebook page with “It's official” in his status message during the Inauguration, you know?

    But as you said, to each their own. I respect that that's what they wanted to do; I just don't agree with it.

    Thanks, my week is going great! lol No worries, this post was 'in the moment' from last night. My blog is always pre-scheduled 🙂

    Thanks again,
    Sasha

  26. Thanks for your comment.

    I don't understand the drama either. lol

  27. Hi Bird,

    Yep, I learned that last night. One guy accused me of disagreeing simply to get blog hits. Now, THAT is laughable. My blog isn't intended for those people, it's intended for other people in other genres and I do quite well on my own. I had to even point out that I'm a frequent visitor of Mashable, and my Disqus history would prove that.

    I agree with you, it's cute to some people, but to others it isn't. But that doesn't make you, me or anyone else attackers of the happy couple. It just means we disagree.

    It's sad some people just don't get that.

  28. Hi Krista,

    Thanks for the comment!

    You phrased it another way, but that's exactly my point:-

    “I always thought that it was common courtesy to turn off or silence your cell phone/pda when you enter a place of worship, out of respect. I don't see why this is any different.”

    I can see where it was meant to be cute too, but I just don't think in this context it was.

  29. Hi Lisa,

    Thanks for your comment. It makes sense that it was planned in advance when that was pointed out to me because the priest does look calm in the video.

    However, like you, I was taught otherwise. Having a mobile phone on, or using it in such settings, is completely disrespectful.

    Best,
    Sasha

  30. I respectfully disagree. I think people are personalizing their weddings anyway they can these days.

    Here are some current wedding trends that aren't so traditional: The shock value of a choreographed dance, including animals in the ceremony and I just went to a wedding the other day where the actually bride sang to her groom.

    Also, I think this couples was just poking fun at the times – technology and social media are so invasive of our lives now. It was all in good fun.

    Not to mention in the dating world of us 20-somethings – if it is not “Facebook official” its not official. LOL

  31. I actually had a friend who, after accepting a marriage proposal Christmas day last year, said out loud in front of her family and fiancee, that she couldn't wait to update her Facebook status. Though meant to be humorous, everybody took it seriously, and did not take it too well.

    I actually blogged about how citizen journalism (this would fall under that category in a roundabout way) is getting too far. And this is the perfect example.

    As I tweeted to you, you're not conventional, just considerate. Sure, the groom and priest were in on it, but what do you think the audience was thinking? Especially the older crowd. It was inconsiderate.

    People have been using the “sanctity of marriage” argument against gay and lesbian couples' right to get married, but then we have this. I don't see how this sanctifies it any more than a same-sex marriage would.

    This was a great post. Thank you for sharing with us!

  32. and i just invite to the facebook group. lets discuss thethin line between fun and respect. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=204298579

  33. Thanks, I'll check it out!

  34. ofcourse it should be twitted.

  35. ofcourse it should be twitted.