Jacob Black & Edward Cullen Barbies Kinda Scare Me

I have no words.

Well no, that’s a lie. I always have lots of words. But Ken’s all shirtless, with 1990s shorts, 6-pack abs and a tattoo. It’s like that Kimora Lee Simmons hooker looking Barbie — there is a right way to make a doll and then there is the way Mattel seems to have gone as of late.

Back on June 25, 2009 I blogged about Bella Swan & Edward Cullen Barbie. I believe somewhere in there were the words,

“Where’s Jacob Ken? I’m waiting…”

He’ll be arriving in February 2010 for $24.95 USD when the DVD of New Moon is released:-

While I joke, I kid and even have been known to say that little old Jacob is the love child of Sirius Black and Remus Lupin…he still looks better than Cullen Barbie who looks possessed. Good lordy.

Seriously?

Here’s the other thing — before the Edward Cullen doll was released, we had press pictures and they weren’t bad. These pictures, especially one, had the dolls are looking pretty fabulous.

Have you seen the latest ones? The real ones? The Edward Cullen, the doll, looks damn near possessed.

Before:-

What they really look like:-

Would someone like to explain to me why Mattel is selling scary (literally), male, half-naked dolls to 12-year old little girls? Right, so I know what you’re thinking — “*ahem* Sasha, Malibu Ken was shirtless…get off your high horse.”

Alright, you got me there. But, still Malibu Ken wasn’t scary and these are just so… naked with wonky eyes, too.

And Barbie Bella, looks nothing like K Can’t Act, thank goodness. She should be flattered, Barbie does her well by not doing her at all 🙂

On that note, Mattel needs some lessons from Tonner — at least in making Edward Cullen. Tonner plans to released their Twilight dolls in February 2010 as well. I believe there is a Rosalie Hale doll in there too. But I’m not sure.

*rant over*

You can see the original post here, featuring Twilight Lip Venom Stain.

Copyright © 2009 Sasha H. Muradali. All Rights Reserved.

Comments

  1. because twilight makes moolah 🙂 that's why they make the scary barbies

  2. WHAT'S WITH THE SHORTS!!!!!!!! That's bad, even by Barbie standard.

    And Edward Ken looks like a hot lesbian on the butch side (think K.D. Lang)…

    Bella Barbie is ok, but she's way hotter than K.Stew…

    Random question, have you even seen the Homemaker Barbie?

  3. lol, this is very true. The Twilight franchise makes a lot of money. But the same could be said for Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings.

    They haven't made Potter dolls at all. But have you seen the Star Trek or Lord of the Rings ones?…they look normal, decent…lovely even.

    I was stunned. It was like the creative director from Mattle was sleeping during the design. Really and truly only the Bella doll looks great.

    We won't know about Jacob until next year, sadly. But lordy…the Edward ones…are awful.

    If you seem them in person, you'll die. They didn't get a smidgen of RPattz likeness or anything.

    I think this has to be terrible branding on their end. yikes!

  4. lol — the shorts are a bit funky aren't they?

    I really don't like the Edward doll. It looks nothing remotely like RPattz. This can't be good for branding. When your dolls for your pre-teen girls audience look a bit off.

    I don't think we'll really know how Jacob will look until he comes out. The out is actually subject to change. I think they're modeling his hair after the same design as Spocks for the Star Trek 2009 dolls. Not sure though.

    I think someone in creative was sleeping during the process. Which is just sad because normally Mattel is beyond up to par on a lot of this stuff.

    Have you seen their X-Files, Elvis or Heidi Klum dolls? They're amazing. Heidi Klum especially!

    Nope, what does homemaker Barbie look like?

  5. Homemaker Barbie was basically a Barbie in some soccer mom sundress and apron, the usual Barbie hair… and with an “O” shape mouth! I kid you not! I can't remember if it actually sold as a set (Ken and Skippy included) or just Barbie, but I clearly remember the “O” shape mouth…
    I totally should have gotten one just for the heck of it, coz you can't find that Barbie anymore…

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  7. OMR, But those Tonners on pictures are OOAK.

  8. I believe the second link was One of a Kind — Tonner DOES make Twilight dolls you can purchase.

    http://www.entertainmentearth.com/prodinfo.asp?…

  9. edwardsgoldeneyes says

    Oh yes I know. I meant second link. Tonner made Edward, Bella, Viktoria, James, Laurant and Jacob. But they arent as beautiful as was showed on OOAK link 🙂

  10. Definitely, I agree! 🙂

    The Jacob OOAK especially, they got the hair near perfect.

  11. edwardsgoldeneyes says

    Oh yes I know. I meant second link. Tonner made Edward, Bella, Viktoria, James, Laurant and Jacob. But they arent as beautiful as was showed on OOAK link 🙂

  12. Definitely, I agree! 🙂

    The Jacob OOAK especially, they got the hair near perfect.