{Bookworm Review} Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

Image via WeHeartIt.

Recently, I took to reading Steve Harvey’s “Act like a Lady, Think Like a Man;” a comical, enlightening and often commonsense set of stories for women, by a man looking out for women.

I was really skeptical when I picked up this title because I’m not the type of girl who reads “self-help” books. Call me crazy, but if need to pick up a book to evaluate myself via Barnes & Noble, it might be more sensible to see a shrink. At least the degree on their wall might convince me they are more interactive than a few pieces of paper slapped together with some glue.

But I digress, “Act like a Lady, Think Like a Man” is a beneficial, quick, easy and good read for any woman over the age of 16 who has dated, had a crush on or ever been intimate with any member of the opposite sex.

You know when your daddy said, “Men are only after one thing…” Yes, ladies, Steve Harvey says so too. But he’s not your daddy, and will take it a step further outside of the “comfort zone” to tell you WHY:-

Image by Sasha H. Muradali. All Rights Reserved 2009.

Steve Harvey breaks down the psyche of a man: simple, in love with sex and are evolved (to a point) cavemen.

See I knew that, you knew that – but really, did we really know that?

I don’t think a lot of us do. Reading this book was like connecting the dots to make the constellations we always knew were there, we just didn’t see. I wouldn’t be surprised if you read this book and said to yourself, “I knew that, but now I know that.”

Image via WeHeartIt. By Tec Petaja.

With chapters like:-

  • How men distinguish between the marrying types and the playthings
  • How to handle a Mama’s Boy
  • What Drives Men
  • First Things First: He Wants To Sleep with You
  • Strong, Independent – and Lonely – Women
  • Why Men Cheat
  • Quick Answers to the Questions You’ve Always Wanted to Ask

“Act like a Lady, Think Like a Man” tells you what it is, like it is and why it is what it is.

A few of my favourite things Harvey highlighted in his book:-

Why women having standards is important. That’s right – it’s like your daddy said, and your momma really told you – if you sleep with him on the first date = he’s using you…for sex. Boo-tay!

Harvey goes on to discuss the Ninety-Day Rule, invented and perfected by Ford – a place he used to work – Harvey says, all women should apply this same rule to their relationships and dating habits.

Think about it like this: you start a new job, you are on a “probation” period for 3 months aka 90 days. At the end of 90 days if you performed adequately, you start to receive the benefits (501k etc.,) of that job working for that company.

Apply the same rules to dating. Don’t have sex in the first three months, unless that’s all you are after…and expect that if you do – he knows you don’t have standards because you haven’t set boundaries and he’s just moved you from “keeper” to “plaything.”

Men keep women in two categories: “keeper” and “plaything,” “take home to mom” or “not take home to mom,” “respect” and “no respect.” As a woman, you have control over which category you are placed in by which man.

Image via WeHeartIt. By Tec Petaja.

Not all men are the same, but Harvey guarantees most men are like this.

He’s not saying (and I’m not saying) you have to have sex after three months, on the contrary, do what you want. He’s just saying, treat you relationship like the boss treats your employee file: He shows up to the date on time, gets to know you and does a great job – the benefits can start. Make no mistake, Harvey doesn’t suggest not kissing or holding hands previous to this – but just not anything else.

The logic: if the man is really into getting to know you and is trying to figure out if you are really a “keeper” – he’s going to try, with “the cookie” coming second.

Image via WeHeartIt.

After all, life isn’t a Disney movie. On the contrary…

The thing about Harvey’s book and the reason I really enjoyed reading it, is that he explains things in terms women can understand. He acknowledges that men and women think about life, relationships and sex very differently. So when he describes situations and issues in his book – he’s not giving you the “straight, short answer” men normally do, in “thinking they’ve solved your problem” because “it’s just that simple to them.”

No, Harvey, details and provides examples so that you can “get it.”

He doesn’t think women are stupid, quite the opposite, in fact. He just thinks the mentality of the 1945 woman in 2009 needs to evolve and that we all need to stop pushing our little girls to be strong, independent women, while, contradicting that beliefs system, by telling her that she needs to pay attention to the men that come her way…or she’ll die an old maid.

But don’t think that Harvey is some expert on women, or pulled all of this out of thin air. He actually bases the book on his own experiences in life, meeting his wife and how he almost lost her. But more importantly, he bases his book on a series of letters called The Strawberry Letters.

These were “Dear Steve” notes and emails that came into his radio program on a daily basis from women seeking advice. Some of these letters, which Harvey shares in the book, are downright sad. Sad, because there are a lot of women out there being emotionally/physically abused, used and literally were never taught differently.

By bringing these to light, Harvey is encouraging women to now know, learn and grow.

Image via WeHeartIt.

He makes a point to remind you that men are really only after the “cookie” – that’s how simple it is. And why are they after it?

Well, for a lot of reasons…but mostly, their genetic makeup; men are physical, women are emotional. You could be that girl with that guy, and you’ve been exclusively together for two years now, a ring is on your finger and the wedding date has been set. But guess what? His end goal is to still get “the cookie.”

How he does it, is the difference between the man you want to marry and the man you keep at a distance.

Now you know that, now you can play the “players game” without getting yourself played. And get this straight, it is a game. A game as old as time itself.

I’m really glad I read this and I definitely recommend it to all of you women out there.

It’s a keeper.

Little Pink Book’s rating: 4.5 of 5 stars.

You can purchase your own copy here:


Sasha Muradali runs the ‘Little Pink Book’ . She holds a B.S. in Public Relations from the University of Florida (’07) and an M.A. in International Administration from the University of Miami(’08). She loves Twitter and all things social media, so you should find her @SashaHalima.

Copyright © 2009 Sasha H. Muradali. All Rights Reserved

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  1. Interesting book, Sasha. 😀 I'm going to look at that when I get to your house this weekend.

  2. 90-day rule is true.

  3. haha, hence, glad I read the book!

    thanks stefan, 🙂

  4. ladylolly says:

    I can't wait to pick this book up, thank you!

  5. you are very welcome!

    I loved it! I seriously think every girl needs to read this. Even if they
    are married. I think it can give you a generally good POV in dealing w/ men
    in general 🙂

  6. Glad i read the book – woman you read my mind about the book! Its definately a “keeper”

  7. Glad i read the book – woman you read my mind about the book! Its definately a “keeper”

  8. Love it… I'm so picking up this book. Thanks for sharing…

    xo Jen
    The Art of Chasing Your Dreams

  9. I loved this book and wanted to take notes. It is that great.!! The other key points in it if he wants to be with you and you are a keeper in his mind. He will profess, protect and provide for you! If he does not do those three than he isn't in it for the long haul.

  10. I loved this book and wanted to take notes. It is that great.!! The other key points in it if he wants to be with you and you are a keeper in his mind. He will profess, protect and provide for you! If he does not do those three than he isn't in it for the long haul.