{Rules of PR no. 14} Surefire Ways To Make Your Employees Hate You

Photo by: *hb19 via Flickr.

Recently, guest blogger Kasey Skala wrote a very interesting article, “Forget Your Customers,” on why it’s important to keep your employees happy. This week, we are following up with another one of our infamous lists:-

1. Do not hold 45-minute “staff meetings” on “How Not to Waste Time.”

…the irony.

Next, you are you going to convince me that 2+2=5 and that the earth is flat.

2. Do not bog down your employees with miniscule, unnecessary tasks.

Only using coloured paperclips for the clients? Silver ones are strictly for office use only. Seriously! Seriously? Seriously. Last time I checked, this was the real world and not grade school.

Who missed the memo? Maybe it was attached with the wrong colour paperclip, *tsk*tsk*

3. Do not take out your anger and frustrations on your employees or belittle and berate them to make yourself feel better.

Respect is earned not given.

This isn’t old England. You are not Jonathan Rhys-Meyers in the Tudors, and I’m not a slinky little serf.

You may pay your employees monetarily, but they pay you back with the quality of their work and word of mouth. Don’t disappoint them or give them a reason to black list you by telling other people why NOT to work for you.

There is just one moon and one golden sun… it’s a small, small world! Sing it with me now: it’s a small world after all, it’s a small world after all…

4. Do not complain about money and then spend oodles on something really stupid…like a new COO.

Your employees will really question how smart, rational and worth respecting you are, when you do really stupid things.

Do not refuse to purchase little things (like a box of Splenda from Wal-Mart for seven dollars USD) for the office, constantly complain about money (you gave yourself a salary cut…and everyone else) and put a knife to bonuses (see previous.) Yet, then go out and hire a bunch of new people/person and pay them oodles in The Green. Especially, when the function of these newbies is…well, they have NO function.

Last time I checked, you are running a business, not a charitable organization to give your gym and golfing buddy-wuddies jobs.

5. Do not take the Internet away from your employees or chastise them for using it.

Why be a Flintstone when you can move like a Jetson?

We live in the age of information and technology my friend. If you do not want your employees to think you are some overbearing, self-indulgent dinosaur, do not give your employees an excuse to say so, and tell their friends.

Sure, you want your employees to do their work and not spend all their time of the Facebook.

But they are human too, remember that.

And this new breed of human, isn’t the same breed of human from 20, 10 or even five years ago. The majority of the population moves together with the times. You should too.

6. If you are business owner, small or large – make sure you have more employees than board of directors. (Small businesses and big businesses are different beasts!!!)

More chiefs than Indians in the tribe is never a good thing.

If I thought you were stupid before, well, now I KNOW you’re just plain dumb.

7. Village Idiot: Do not make your employees question your intelligence.

If you have press kits that needs to be sent to reporters for Monday morning, do not have them arrive and in need of “stuffing” on a Friday, much less on a Friday at 4:30 p.m. to make the deadline to get to FedEx by 7:30 p.m.

Also, do not, send said packages via overnight delivery either…to get there on a Saturday morning…when your reporter of choice is at home…like everyone else… just saying…

8. Do not ASSume.

You aren’t Donkey in Shrek. Enough said.

Do not try to predict what your employees and those you manage are doing or not doing, or what they will tell you. Then preselect what you will tell them, all the while, thinking you know the entire situation.

If you want to know something…ask.

They’ll respect you for your honesty and lesser fantastical brain waves.

Save the fictional storylines for J.K. Rowling. She’s good at them.

9. Do not give your employees a reason NOT to trust you.

You are not Columbo or Hercule Poirot, there is no need for you to snoop and lull around your office staring at your employees as if you are some owl with wide-batty eyes.

There is only one Snoopy, and even he’s not catty.

10. Do not think “big” to be “big,” but actually act really “small.”

This isn’t a Disney movie, this is real life. It’s great to be ambitious, and want to move your company forward into the next age.

But seriously, be smart (and see no.7) and do not make me wonder if you need to have some sense whacked into you.

If the market is already tapped by FedEx Freight, DHL and alike – don’t tread in those waters.

Is your brain the size of a peanut?

Simple: to be big, think big and think of what IS NOT being accomplished already.

Tap into new territory – you might just hold on to your employees that way, as they won’t think they are throwing their lives away based on your stupidity.

Don’t try to reinvent the wheel, do what works and you have a shot at succeeding in.

That, or you’ll just be a “pay check” to them; abso-freakin-lutely nothing more.

Else, you will not pass “Go” or “Collect” 200 grand.

Ain’t it just peachy?

~*~

Give your employees bonuses if they earn them, keep your office stocked with decent coffee, tea, hot coco, cream, sugar and stirrers. Keep a microwave and toaster handy, don’t forget the knives, spoons and forks, or the bio-degradable cups and plates.

Have birthday cakes or lunches for those who work for you and really make them feel like the office is their home away from home.

You’re spending eight hours of more with these people per day. You want them to be happy.

• A happy employee equates a productive employee.

• A productive employee equates higher work quality.

• High work quality equates a better business.

• A better business equates a larger cash flow.

It’s so simple.

Want to be a better employer? Do not give your employees the opportunity to hate you.

Word of mouth is a strong thing.

Push someone far enough and you have a battle on your hands…for your reputation.

Little Pink Book’s Rule of PR #14:
You are what you do: no matter what you say, your actions will define you.

 

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Sasha Muradali runs the ‘Little Pink Book’ . She holds a B.S. in Public Relations from the University of Florida (’07) and an M.A. in International Administration from the University of Miami(’08). She loves Twitter and all things social media, so you should find her @SashaHalima.

Copyright © 2009 Sasha H. Muradali. All Rights Reserved.