Archives for May 14, 2009

Top 5 Reasons Kirk and Spock are the NEW Edward and Jacob

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Geeks and Geekettes rejoiced with the release of Star Trek 2009. The mind-blowing special effects, quirky jokes and nostalgia seeped atmosphere, bagged cinema goers in herds to the theatre. But one thing, sure to have thrown off the studio, was the emergence of Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto as heartthrobs.

Photo by Cosmo Girl. Outtakes of Kellan Lutz, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner

With Facebook groups popping up, tweets streaming and girls, yes not boys, going back to the cinema again and again, the power of the female dedication to hotness knows no bounds.

To be sure, the studios knew these men were good looking. But being good looking and taking over the world of girl-lust, at times replacing, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner, was never a smidgen of a thought.

Trekkettes, rest assured these two are now en route to the land of Tiger Beat and teenage-hottie-yes!-world.

Let’s break down the psyche of a dedicated Fan Girl and why their cash, as well as their parents’, will warp to light speed in the direction of the U.S.S. Trekkie-train.

1. They cannot be out-grown.

That’s where the appeal of Pattinson will end, and the appeal of Quinto and Pine will begin.

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Pattinson is best known for his role as Edward Cullen in Twilight, a teeny-bopper movie, about a human in love with a vampire based on a teeny-bopper four-part book series.

Best known before that, Pattinson played Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, a children’s fantasy film based on a children’s fantasy seven-part book series. But, even with the name of Potter on his resume, Pattinson played a minor character in a major series and is no Rupert Grint on the heels of Cherrybomb.

The thing is, Edward Cullen is a non-threatening, non-sexual ethereal being of childhood fantasy. That is his appeal; where it starts and where it ends. He’s like a Ken Doll with razor sharp teeth who will be outgrown when reality and the rest of your life set in.

On the other hand, Pine and Quinto have the groundwork laid for them not to be outgrown as Kirk and Spock are well… real.

They show emotion, are threatening and grown-up sexual creatures (see fan made video of Spock and Uhura here with footage from Star Trek 2009). They remind you of the same fantasies Edward embodies, but they mirror the men you actually know who exist in everyday life.

One will certainly outlast the other; adulthood beats childhood in the race of longevity.

Zachary Quinto as Spock in Star Trek 2009

2. Maturity

Twilight is loaded with teenage angst. Once past the age of 18, there is only a certain level of tolerance for emo-emotions, lidded heavily with disdain and woes of the world around you.

Jacob Black, played by Taylor Lautner, while always holding Bella’s best interests at heart, is an emotional, pushy, saccharine-soaked puppy; pun intended.

Spock, not known for emotions, has them, controls them and does not overtly indulge his vibes.

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Put it this way, Jacob is your artificial sweetener: sugary, manufactured and probably detrimental to your health if you keep indulging in it because it’s factory produced to ensnare your senses.

While, Spock is brown sugar with a hint of molasses: raw, organic, real and probably a good wake-up call to add to your morning brew.

Brooding, Spock may be, a trait similar to Edward Cullen, but laced in extensive sentiments, he is not. There is no emotional, psychological, excess baggage there.

3. Time and Space

Kirk and Spock fight bad guys, travel the galaxy in search of new frontiers and get a whole lot of action.

Edward and Jacob get to mull over their thoughts in Forks, the rainiest, cloudiest place in the continental United States.

A girl just wants a little adventure!

4. Borgs, Vulcans and Klingons, oh my!

Twilight has werewolves and vampires. Star Trek has all of that plus other unique creatures. (see reason 5)

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There are just more choices and tolerance in the Trekkie-sphere. Kirk is no bigot when it comes to who he chooses to get “friendly” with (*cough* Bella* only* wants* vampires* cough*). Kirk gets it on with a green Orion. In Star Trek, no specific race thinks that they are better than the rest, unless of course you are a Borg. But that’s no. 5.

5. Seven of Nine and the male ego

So yes, both, Kirk and Spock, and, Edward and Jacob, have the faces to appeal to women and homosexual men. But, one thing Star Trek will always have over Twilight, is it appeals to both sexes, and gender preferences, on and off the silver screen.

Girls clawed to get their hands on the latest Twilight book, Breaking Dawn, and dragged their boyfriends, kicking and screaming to the see the film.

But at the SuperCons, and alike, for the most part, there is equal gender footing and of course Seven of Nine. She is the half-Borg half-human, sci-fi, goddess from Voyager that has kept male hormones in check since the 1990s. I don’t see the boys quite clamoring to break down Kristen Stewart’s door.

Jeri Ryan as Seven of Nine from Star Trek: Voyager

So while, both Edward and Spock get the girl, Kirk gets a spaceship and Jacob gets Edward and Bella’s leftover spawn, thus, offsetting the balance of masculine might.

Score: Trekkies = 5, Twilighters = 0

Spock, Star Trek 2009 movie poster

Be out of your Vulcan mind.
Live long and prosper!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yrdEe95Hs0

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Sasha Muradali runs the ‘Little Pink Book’ .

Copyright © 2009 Sasha H. Muradali. All Rights Reserved.